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Lindsay Brown
05 November 2013 @ 05:59 pm
Long silence, but such is the life of a lecturer with too many extracurricular activities. I missed all of October, it seems, how remiss of me.

Much of the reason behind the extended silence is that this term I've been teaching a French Literature and Feminism class. Yes, yes, scoff away - everyone else has been, I assure you. Anyway, apart from attempting to conduct myself in a manner to which most women don't frequently object, I didn't have the first clue about the fundamentals of the feminist movement when I began teaching the class in October. This necessitated cramming much of the last century into the two weeks before term started, which was quite an exercise. At the same time I had the dubious pleasure of first translating and then teaching myself the principle text, Le Roman De Silence, which, if you don't know it, is written in Medieval French. I'm frankly surprised my brain is still operational, but I'm a jolly sight more up-to-date on women's issues.

Valentine wasn't particularly interested at first (and had, in fact, generally fallen asleep every time he heard me reading it) until he found me translating this part a couple of weeks ago:

Il a us d'ome tant use
Et cel de feme refuse
Que poi en fait que il n'est malles:
Quanque on en voit est trestolt malles.
El a en tine que ferine:
Il est desos les dras mescine.



(He has practiced the customs of man for so long,
and refused those of woman,
that but for a little he is a man.
All that one sees of him is completely male.
But he has something in his pants other than flour:

beneath the clothes, he is a girl.)


That's right - this apparently feminist piece is about a French transvestite. Apart from a vigorous discussion on whether this could be appropriated into a/ a fashion line or b/ a halloween costume, there hasn't been much talk about it... but it's only a matter of time, surely.

Other than that, it's been running, organising those apes that I call best friends, catching up with beautiful married women and throwing a couple of dinner parties because cooler weather means less whinging when I turn on the oven. Come for a visit, should you find yourselves up our way. No pets, no children.
 
 
Lindsay Brown
24 September 2013 @ 07:58 am
See, this is the reason that I don't buy kebabs from kebab vans. You know the ones - they're the ones where the main commodity is botulism. I don't think I have anything left inside of me.

The girls have gone home and Valentine is working. Traitors. I need water. Send help.
 
 
Current Location: Hell
Current Mood: Dying
Current Music: Dying
 
 
Lindsay Brown
01 September 2013 @ 09:22 am
I thought I was fairly fit, and then Valentine bought me a boat. Christ wept, I've got aches in places I didn't even know I had muscles. Surely it's not normal to ache in your midriff after a spot of rowing? Next time I'm giving him the oars and saving myself a hernia.

In less exhausting news, I'm roughly three quarters of a way through teaching myself rudimentary spanish. It's fairly close to French, with some nice variations - needless to say, I'm enjoying it. This is what happens when the summer holidays go on and on and on....

Speaking of French, Mari has met herself a frenchman. Rekindled teen romance. She must be happy about it because she's messaged me at least twelve times this last two weeks.

Speaking of irritating messages, Melissa has been messaging me begging us to get a pool prior to their visit in two weeks. I asked Ellie if Valentine had set that one up but she's staying mum so far. Not even slightly fooled - if there's one thing I can sniff out, its a conspiracy. I might let Ty know just who broke that piece of Wedgewood.

Speaking of wedges, X Factor is yet again upon us. Judging from Barlow's surly scowl, Valentine has a type...



 
 
 
Lindsay Brown
04 August 2013 @ 09:28 am
Just watching a recording of Grand Designs - a woman smeared cow shit and yoghurt over a concrete tower with the intent that it'd grow lichen in time. Artists, of course. Who'd live in a shit smeared tower? Nevertheless, watching this show gives me itchy feet in the worst way - I miss my house in France.

Back to Cambridge, which is luckily just as loved. We had some visitors this week, including one of the canine persuasion. I think he was pleasantly surprised by the improvement in my running if the lolling grin and excited woofing are anything to go by? I'm talking Wigs, not Joe, who also seemed surprised. Counteracted any health benefits by sinking ten too many gins with Sasha while more or less succeeding in staying out of the water. Very sad to see them go.

Still, hot afternoons with my better half aren't anything to be sneezed at. Might take a walk upstairs, see if I can persuade him awake.
 
 
Lindsay Brown
04 August 2013 @ 09:13 am
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/aug/02/carlton-cannes-jewellery-heist-pink-panthers

The cheek, attributing my works of art to these opportunists. A hand grenade? Please. Makes a man want to steal something without anyone noticing just to show them how it's done.
 
 
 
Lindsay Brown
http://www.expeditions.com/destinations/antarctica

Expecting visitors this week, which should take my mind off the fact that I can't think when it is this hot. Have purchased ridiculous amounts of gin in preparation of said guests. To the point that I would be equipped should I be forced to colonise a strange and humid land at any point in the next ten years. Bet we make a decent dent in it.  
 
 
Lindsay Brown
21 July 2013 @ 09:28 am
Melting. Banal to moan about the weather but honestly, besides sitting by the river with a G&T and going for drives with the air conditioning on full pelt, there's nothing to be done but piss, moan and wait for things to get cooler. I can't recall a summer being as hot as this one has been for quite some time, must be this global warming thing that people keep talking about.

Worse than the weather itself is Valentine's insistence on cheap ice lollies. If you've ever kissed anyone who'd just eaten a Fab you'll know what I mean. Though he says the same about Thaymar's Marsala Rum and Raisin... different strokes, one supposes.

Christ, it's too hot to breathe.
 
 
Lindsay Brown
Much to my dismay, I must announce that I have that irritating Get Lucky song stuck in my head. This terrible state of affairs is entirely thanks to Danny, who set it as my ring tone when he visited on Tuesday. I'd ask Valentine to take it off for me but I don't want to admit that I've been thoroughly baffled by a bloody smartphone (Valentine, if you're reading and you take it off for me and never mention it in my hearing, I'll owe you something).

Been using the idle time found between reading and ministering to Valentine's damaged extremeties learning new things in the kitchen. Making croissants is not the most infuriating thing I've done in my life, but it was close. Have you ever tried? Hardly worth the effort, though guaranteed to make you appreciative of your nearest boulangerie.

Mulling over redecorating the study at Holland Park. This thought brought to you by the magnificent set design of Hannibal, which I finished watching on Sunday. At a slight loss as to what to do in terms of television watching, despite Ellie's suggestion of True Blood. I did give it a shot but it seemed to be mostly comprised of poor acting and not enough clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I've become inordinately fond of ties. Sadly, ties are not quite as fond of me... they seem to make me look like a homeless person in a way that even slovenly clothes cannot.

And now.. summer holidays. Still need to plan that trip.
 
 
Lindsay Brown
05 June 2013 @ 09:59 am
I don't often watch television, but must confess myself taken with the series Hannibal. Quite apart from the arresting set design and hypnotic performances from Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelson, it also makes me want to cook every time I watch an episode.

Hannibal-Food-hannibal-tv-series-34513393-500-180

Artistry.

Summer is finally upon us - this morning we had blue sky for an entire hour. A thrill.
 
 
Lindsay Brown
Still at the mercy of those rabbits. I've given up trying to plant anything until they're taken care of - no bloody point since it will all be eaten. Given that I'm not allowed to do harm to them on threat of extreme pouting, I've eaten rabbit stew and rabbit pie and rabbit pate at every opportunity in some sort of vengeance-by-proxy. Delicious revenge.

Filling in on a Blake tutorial and enjoying it immensely. One positive of teaching largely lackwit teenagers is seeing a shift in thinking that suggests we might not always live in a world run by something as intangible as money. As irritating as they are, they do seem to believe that things can be changed. Robin Hoods all.

A few more weeks and I'll be on Summer holidays. Wondering whether to take advantage and go away? It'll be here on June 13 so I suppose I should talk to Valentine.